rosepetaltragic

Dear K,

 

I don`t think I know exactly what to say, but, at the same time, I can`t say I have to. You`re not here. You`re not listening. So what does it matter?

It does, still. To me. And, god, I can`t figure out why.

Why you. Why me. Why us, why here, why now.

I haven`t found the answers yet. I`ve looked, for months and weeks, while you stared at me with pretty brown eyes and looked on, oblivious, I struggled to find something. Anything. Something solid and strong enough, something happy and bright and everything I wasn`t.

I haven`t found it.

Maybe you had it, maybe you really did, but you weren`t going to give it to me. Not me.

But-some, at least. Hugs and arms around each other- it was nice, but nothing new from what you gave everyone else.

Still, I felt special. And for once in the longest time- wanted. Like somebody, anybody, out there cared, maybe.

But I don`t know if you care, anymore.

And maybe it`s my fault, because I never said anything, because I`m not who you wanted me to be.

But I can see it, still. It`s a sparkling wonderful never ending never happened that I see every time I close my eyes around you.

Why?

Please, just…

Why?

I don`t think I`ll ever know, but maybe it`s just time I stopped looking.

Love,

     A.

Mom,

Seventeen years, and all you've proven is that I really WAS a mistake. You've done absolutely nothing throughout my entire life except hurt me. Day after day, and you still make me feel worthless and inferior. Why is nothing I do ever fucking good enough? Christmas is in three days, and you completely forgot about me. You've spent almost $1,000 on your son and his girlfriend, yet you haven't paid my phone bill in 4 months. That is the only thing of mine you pay for, and it really isn't that much. You can't afford $100 a month? You claim to be bringing home all this money, but where the fuck is it going? Your fucking crack dealer. I'm done with these relapses. I can't take it anymore. I've put up with this shit for far too long, and once I hit 18, you can believe I'm gone. I'll move in with a friend if I have to but god dammit, I can't take this anymore. I shouldn't have to hide my money/valuables every time I leave the house. This Christmas is gonna be just like every other one. You're gonna be drugged up, start crying and/or cause a fight, and at the end of the night, I'M going to be the one who has to deal with it, because I'm the one stuck living here. You've made everything about this holiday, Thanksgiving, and pretty much everything else about your son, because he moved out and he never comes over. Well I wonder WHY. Can you really blame him? Now you're spoiling him to no end. Not only did you pay for half the down payment on his apartment, most of the furnishings, and all the little things he needed, but now you've bought him a coffee pot, microwave, microwave cart, a football jersey, amongst other things. What did you get me? A pair of leggings. Then you yelled at Dad when he wanted to give me $400. I don't deserve that much, according to you. What have I done wrong? I've kept my grades up, got accepted into a good college, I rarely drink/smoke anymore, I don't hang out with bad people. So what is it? What makes you constantly forget about me? What makes me so god damn worthless? Because the more you put it in my head, the more I believe it. And you fucking wonder why I'm suicidal/suffer from depression. Go fuck yourself.

i_hope_that
For many of us, the holidays can be kind of rough. If you're searching for a network of understanding friends, this ultra-nurturing community encourages you to express your heartfelt wishes and offer other members encouragement and acceptance. Not for the terminally snarky or emotionally-challenged, this is a good-spirited place to lend comfort and support.

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Dear Mike,
We had our first kiss last night. I have never been so happy or in cloud nine.
I thought that it was really cute how nervous you were. I know you think that Cory must have been better because I was so attached to him but kissing you seems to be what I was meant to do.
My lips were so chapped all day because I couldn't find my chapstick and I didn't even care that it kind of hurt kissing you. If anything, it made it better. :)
I could go on about how hard it is going to be for us because of all of the obstacles but I don't feel like thinking about that.
Kissing you isn't as deperate as my kisses with Cory were. Because unlike him, I trust you. And I know that you aren't going to ditch me when I need you most or have major mood swings that scare me.

It's rather nice liking someone as sweet as you.
lovely,lovely,lovely.
-Mere

stepstomarrow
When granddaughter, Jada, was born with leukemia, a donor-match was located and Jada made a miraculous recovery. In honor of her grandaughter's health, Jeanna has decided to walk across the country (in the dead of winter) to raise awareness and build support for the bone marrow registry (all that's required is a cheek swab). Follow Jeanna's remarkable journey as she travels the United States by foot.

Gallón Water $99...

As God is my witness,

( red ink note )

Found this today,

( a promise )

Dear Text Me, This letter is most likely a bad idea, becauuse it's just gonna list the reasons why you are a really amazing person & then I'll forget about all the bad things about you but whatever. Might as well :P Well .. so, I know you feel bad about yourself alot of the time, and i just don't really like seeing it, so if you ever need a reminder of how awesome you are .. Come back to this letter. Reasons Why Text Me Is Just So Awesome (=

• Although your a man whore, you are one of the nicest guys .. PEOPLE, i'v ever really known.
• You can make me laugh super duper easily just by saying the stupidest joke on the face of the Earth.
• Your easy to talk to. PERIOD.
• This is a little random but I love how you told me you can never get mad at me. I thought it was sweet. (=
• Everytime I ask you to stay up with me, you actually do it 0; [most of the time]
• Even after all the shit you've been through, for some reason you keep going. Your .. seriously inspirational. EW, corny.
• May be a bad thing(especially for MY SAKE :P) but you are one of the the most charming guys I've met. No wonder girls basically throw their panties at you :B
• You aren't shallow whatsoever. Your accepting ... your awesome like that.
• You don't make cutting class seem as bad as it really is LOL
• You always offer to pay for me because you know I'm broke :P bahahah.
• It's cute when you actually open up & tell me things. Or atleast i THINK your opening up, pfft.
• Your. voice. is. the. sexiest. ever. Nuff said.
• I swear, you make me write the best songs EVER.
• Your one hell of a mystery, if that's a good thing, PSHHHH.
• You can make me happy way too easily, even if it's weighed out by the fact that you can make me really sad easily.

It's true, i wouldn't lie. comfuzzled

LOL American Cheese...

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